Quarterly Family Review

Most businesses review performance quarterly.
Most marriages never do.
Joel Peterson thought that was backwards. The JetBlue chairman and Stanford professor raised seven kids with a radical idea: run your family like a business. 

When I first heard him say that it sounded…cold.
But, it wasn’t robotic.
It was intentional.

Data backs Peterson up.
Couples who prioritize weekly time together are 15% more likely to be "very happy."
Yet 52% of couples rarely or never have date nights. 
Families eating dinner together 3+ nights have healthier kids. 

Maybe it’s time to track our families, like we track our steps:

THE QUARTERLY FAMILY REVIEW
We started by asking ourselves “What does a beautiful life look like for us?” Although we may not always nail our OKRs, it’s powerful to ask what matters in your home life.
We came up with six categories.

PARTNERSHIP
A beautiful life means having someone in the trenches with you, not just sharing a mortgage.
Where do you each fall on the line?
Teammates ———————— Roommates
Date nights this month? (Target: 2+)

MONEY
A beautiful life means building together, no secrets, no resentment.
Where do you each fall on the line?
Same playbook ———————— Financial strangers
Monthly money conversation held? (Y/N)

FUN
A beautiful life includes play and novelty, not just Netflix and logistics.
Where do you each fall on the line?
Still curious ———————— Going through motions
Did we do anything new this month? (Y/N)

KIDS
A beautiful life with kids means presence, not just provision.
Where do you each fall on the line?
Engaged ———————— Outsourced
When did you last play with them? Not just supervise, but play?

FRIENDS
A beautiful life is built on beautiful relationships.
Where do you each fall on the line?
Connected ———————— Disconnected
How much time did you have with friends? 

SELF
A beautiful life together still leaves room to be yourself.
Where do you each fall on the line?
Still me ———————— Lost myself somewhere
Minutes alone to recharge this week?

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HOW TO USE THIS
Each partner marks the spectrums independently. Then compare. The magic isn't your score. It's the gap between where you think you are and where your partner thinks you are.
That gap is either a relief or a wake-up call.

Peterson called it "radical intentionality." 
I call it not leaving your most important relationships to chance.

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Sources:
National Marriage Project & Wheatley Institute, "The Date Night Opportunity" (2023)
Hammons & Fiese, Pediatrics (2011)
Dallacker et al., Obesity Reviews (2018)